Interview with Bud Hennekes of PluginID and A Boundless World
Bud Hennekes, writer at PluginID and A Boundless World, lost his best friend Marco on 29th March 2008. From his writing you can tell that he has transformed both his loss and his life. I caught up with him on Skype to ask him some questions about this.
What was helpful for you after Marco died?
Writing and introspection. I don’t know. Just something after he died told me that I needed to actually make something out of my life. That isn’t to say I wasn’t at the time but I just felt kind of empty after he passed away which was understandable and granted one day I didn’t just wake up and say I’m gonna be a better person. It took a lot of hard work. For whatever reason, after he passed I got really into personal development. Started reading Steve Pavlina, which really got me into improving myself. Then I started reading other blogs and such and realized how much difference I could make. Instead of looking at Marco’s death in a bad light, I realized I could use it as a moment of change for the better. Obviously I would have much rather he be alive heh.
Was there anything that wasn´t particularly helpful for you?
Beating myself up, over it (not physically of course). There was something spiritually that told me to just be strong through the entire thing, like set an example, but thinking about the what could have beens obviously didn’t help.
Was there a change in your spiritual beliefs after Marco´s death?
Yes. There was. I was born and raised Catholic and for most of my life that resonated with me. However once I got into the whole personal development thing, I started to question belief systems and such which resulted me in dropping the catholic label. I consider myself extremely spiritual but not necessarily religious. It’s more just about embracing purpose and connecting with your inner self in my opinion.
Did Marco´s death then change the way you view death? Do you have a different perspective on it now compared to before?
Good question. I haven’t yet experienced another close death in my life so it remains to be seen but I think it will definitely help me deal/ appreciate (not sure if that’s the right word) the next close person who passes away. Obviously I’ll still carry some sadness and what not but I’ve come to terms that life isn’t always a walk in the park but I believe we are to appreciate it even when it’s not. If I were to say to lose my mom or dad randomly tomorrow I might have a totally different perspective but seeing someone die in person is something that will help me for the rest of my life/ as it can’t get much worse than that. I view death as a reminder when it comes down to it that our ‘gifts’ aren’t meant to go unused.
How have your “gifts” developed since Marco´s death?
Well Marco was one of the, if not, the main reason I decided to blog. I had always wanted to start a blog but it was his death that told me I needed to reach for the stars so to speak. Since his death I’ve written nearly 100 blog posts and have shared my writing with thousands of people, all the while connecting with many of my readers at a personal level.
Yeah I´ve really seen that from reading the comment on the blog. I love the way you respond to them all
I do my best. Everything just seems to be falling into place.
And how do you choose (if choose is the right word) to remember Marco? By how he lived or by how he died? Are you able to choose?
He was just always so carefree and that’s what I loved about him. He was a terrible student and one time I complained about my “bad grades” and he just laughed and said look at me. It was funny because sometimes we get so caught up in the trivial things. I remember him as a package. Obviously because of the nature he died (Jet Ski) the images pop into my head but I do remember him as a person as well.
From what you´ve just written it seems thought that how he lived is definitely more vibrant for you?
I only knew him for 9 months but he definitely had an impact on the way I view the world.
So what advice would you have for people who have experienced a loss and are trying to gain something positive from it?
Just feel. Try to view the death in a positive light. Know that you ARE NOT ALONE. Death is universal and isn’t something one person has to deal with that another doesn’t. Everyone has to deal with it sometime. Don’t beat yourself up over things you could have done/should have said. Don’t hide your emotions. Talk with people.
What Would Your Answers Be To The Questions?
READ BUD´S OWN POSTS ABOUT THIS: